Seeing God in the Details...

Two Sundays ago Mama called us around 5:15 PM. I was in the middle of making dinner when I picked up the phone. When I heard her voice I knew something was terribly wrong. I don't think I've ever heard her sound like she did, and although she was calm, I just knew something bad had happened. She told me they believed Matthew had been killed in a car accident. It was a fiery crash, so nothing was confirmed, but they were pretty confident it was him. My heart instantly ached. I mean I know these kind of accidents happen everyday, but never so close to home. I was a mess. It was so hard to be so far from my family that night, although I knew there was absolutely nothing I could have done for them that evening other than cry out to God on their behalf. So that's what we did. We prayed and prayed. And cried. By the time I was up and going on Monday, Steve and a couple of families from our church were all set to take care of the girls for the week. I couldn't wait to go and be with my Sissy and Mark. I am so grateful I was able to be there and see God's hand upon them, holding them up and bringing them comfort in the midst of their heartache. Here are a few things I do not want to forget about the past couple of weeks.

God is in the details. I know this and believe this, but I saw this in ways I don't know that I ever have before. Even in when my sister and I had our different little Valentine's Parties planned. Mine was on Friday, and the Lord knew Monday would not have worked, and Sissy's was on Monday, and God knew her little girls would need a distraction that day. The Williams, who have lived in different places throughout the years, are a part of the same church...and had even been in Mark and Sissy's care group. The Williams had lost two of their precious children in an accident several years ago. Kim drove us to the crash site and to see the truck and he was able to ask questions and demonstrate compassion and care like no one else could. As Spurgeon said "Instructed by affliction, you will become a comforter to the afflicted." The Williams, through their own suffering, are bringing comfort and care to my sis and bro in ways others could not. Watching other details like families interacting and making the most difficult of decisions with peace and care and concern for one another, the church and neighbors bringing meals, the phone calls, the pastor coming by with Starbucks and dark chocolate, the girls all sleeping through the night, for our local church family and the care they showed my family by loving on my girls and sending emails and text messages and calling us to let us know they were praying, for my amazing neighbor who brought us enough food for a couple of meals...oh, so many more details, but those are a few that stick out to me...Oh, and laying in bed watching Bernie Mac. =)

And then even bigger. When God's Word says "peace that passes understanding", He truly does give this in proportion to what we need when we need it. Grace is not for our imaginations. Grace is for the moment. And I have watched as my sister and Mark have walked in this peace. We sure don't understand God's plan or timing, but I have seen peace in the midst of a storm. And that is only something God can do in the midst of tragedy.

How thankful I am for the time I was able to spend with my nieces. I have not been able to spend that much time with them since having children of my own. I'm so grateful I was able to take them to get ice cream (and fun dip) and drive them to their class and help them do school and pick out their clothes and paint their nails and pray with them and just be with them.

Matthew's service was incredible. Mark spoke and honored God and his son. One thinks they could never do that....stand up and speak at your child's funeral, but he did it and did it well. Again, the sustaining hand of God was on clear demonstration.

Leaving on Saturday was hard. I couldn't wait to hold my babies and kiss and love on them, but I didn't want to leave Mark and Sissy, knowing this next week could possibly be even harder than the last. I have cried many tears for them this week. I am grateful for the Word of God and writers like Elisabeth Elliot and Charles Spurgeon and the Betters. I am grateful that our hope is in what is unseen, not what is seen.

If anyone besides Mama reads this ;), please keep praying for my Sissy and Mark and the girls. Pray that they will continue to experience peace and that they will experience the comfort and care of their Savior like they never have before.

Tonight we sang "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Rock of Ages" and "Our God is Greater" during our family worship time. Praise be to God that HE is our Rock and our Refuge and that in His strength, we can bless His name both when He gives and takes away.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior...I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised...This God - his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." 2 Samuel 22:2-4, 31

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Ps 147:3

And this song...

God works in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.

He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.

You fearful saints, fresh courage take: the clouds you so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace;

Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.

Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.

So God, we trust in You. So God, we trust in You.

When fears are great and comforts few, we trust in mercies ever new,

We trust in You.