Thursday, February 24, 2011

Seeing God in the Details...

Two Sundays ago Mama called us around 5:15 PM. I was in the middle of making dinner when I picked up the phone. When I heard her voice I knew something was terribly wrong. I don't think I've ever heard her sound like she did, and although she was calm, I just knew something bad had happened. She told me they believed Matthew had been killed in a car accident. It was a fiery crash, so nothing was confirmed, but they were pretty confident it was him. My heart instantly ached. I mean I know these kind of accidents happen everyday, but never so close to home. I was a mess. It was so hard to be so far from my family that night, although I knew there was absolutely nothing I could have done for them that evening other than cry out to God on their behalf. So that's what we did. We prayed and prayed. And cried. By the time I was up and going on Monday, Steve and a couple of families from our church were all set to take care of the girls for the week. I couldn't wait to go and be with my Sissy and Mark. I am so grateful I was able to be there and see God's hand upon them, holding them up and bringing them comfort in the midst of their heartache. Here are a few things I do not want to forget about the past couple of weeks.

God is in the details. I know this and believe this, but I saw this in ways I don't know that I ever have before. Even in when my sister and I had our different little Valentine's Parties planned. Mine was on Friday, and the Lord knew Monday would not have worked, and Sissy's was on Monday, and God knew her little girls would need a distraction that day. The Williams, who have lived in different places throughout the years, are a part of the same church...and had even been in Mark and Sissy's care group. The Williams had lost two of their precious children in an accident several years ago. Kim drove us to the crash site and to see the truck and he was able to ask questions and demonstrate compassion and care like no one else could. As Spurgeon said "Instructed by affliction, you will become a comforter to the afflicted." The Williams, through their own suffering, are bringing comfort and care to my sis and bro in ways others could not. Watching other details like families interacting and making the most difficult of decisions with peace and care and concern for one another, the church and neighbors bringing meals, the phone calls, the pastor coming by with Starbucks and dark chocolate, the girls all sleeping through the night, for our local church family and the care they showed my family by loving on my girls and sending emails and text messages and calling us to let us know they were praying, for my amazing neighbor who brought us enough food for a couple of meals...oh, so many more details, but those are a few that stick out to me...Oh, and laying in bed watching Bernie Mac. =)

And then even bigger. When God's Word says "peace that passes understanding", He truly does give this in proportion to what we need when we need it. Grace is not for our imaginations. Grace is for the moment. And I have watched as my sister and Mark have walked in this peace. We sure don't understand God's plan or timing, but I have seen peace in the midst of a storm. And that is only something God can do in the midst of tragedy.

How thankful I am for the time I was able to spend with my nieces. I have not been able to spend that much time with them since having children of my own. I'm so grateful I was able to take them to get ice cream (and fun dip) and drive them to their class and help them do school and pick out their clothes and paint their nails and pray with them and just be with them.

Matthew's service was incredible. Mark spoke and honored God and his son. One thinks they could never do that....stand up and speak at your child's funeral, but he did it and did it well. Again, the sustaining hand of God was on clear demonstration.

Leaving on Saturday was hard. I couldn't wait to hold my babies and kiss and love on them, but I didn't want to leave Mark and Sissy, knowing this next week could possibly be even harder than the last. I have cried many tears for them this week. I am grateful for the Word of God and writers like Elisabeth Elliot and Charles Spurgeon and the Betters. I am grateful that our hope is in what is unseen, not what is seen.

If anyone besides Mama reads this ;), please keep praying for my Sissy and Mark and the girls. Pray that they will continue to experience peace and that they will experience the comfort and care of their Savior like they never have before.

Tonight we sang "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Rock of Ages" and "Our God is Greater" during our family worship time. Praise be to God that HE is our Rock and our Refuge and that in His strength, we can bless His name both when He gives and takes away.

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge, my savior...I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised...This God - his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." 2 Samuel 22:2-4, 31

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Ps 147:3

And this song...

God works in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform.
He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm.
You fearful saints, fresh courage take: the clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break in blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face.
Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.
So God, we trust in You. So God, we trust in You.
When fears are great and comforts few, we trust in mercies ever new,
We trust in You.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

And I'll Dance With Cinderella...

My husband is an amazing father. I mean tears well up in my eyes just thinking about him with my girls!! He truly is the dad I dreamed my children would have. He loves them dearly and he is daily learning how to communicate that love to them better and better. He guards his time with us. He makes us a priority. One day, I am excited to see how God blesses him through the girls because of his faithfulness to God and his faithfulness to us. May the fruit of all his labor be very, very sweet!

This past Saturday, yes after Junior's departure, Steve had a special date planned for all 3 girls. (I had a special date planned with a book, paper, pen, and sub!) Earlier that day I went and bought the girls new dresses for their date with Daddy. (It's not uncommon for him to take them on dates, this one was just a little different!) By 2 o'clock, Reagan was dressed, had picked out jewelry and knew how she wanted to wear her hair. She was so excited! Chick-fil-a (they are an amazing franchise, by the way!) hosted their Daddy/Daughter Date Night, so they had their reservations for 5:30! All the girls were given roses and candy, a little cow and questions to ask their Dad. Steve was given questions to ask the girls. And of course, there was ice cream with sprinkles!! They all had a blast!

Sydney and Reagan both like this song by Stephen Curtis Chapman. We know it's true, too. Hopefully we will make the most of our time with our little Cinderellas!

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oooooh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't wanna miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of her dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ooh-oh ooh-oh I will dance with Cinderella


I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Ooh-oh ooh-oh I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Junior. Part 2.

Saturday morning was a sad, sad morning. Friday night Steve and I realized that little Junior was making our girls sick. We called the Pet Store Saturday morning and they told us to bring him back. What he has wasn't easy to treat and the girls would continue to catch it as well. My heart ached as Steve told Reagan and as I watched her hold her new little buddy and pet him and cry. It's amazing how quickly we can attach to something. Not that I was attached to him, but much worse, my baby girl was. Watching her hurt is so much more difficult than hurting myself. And I know there will be many times throughout her life that she will ache and I hope and pray I can extend compassion and love to her during those times. Most of all, it is another opportunity where her heart is softened towards the love of God and His care and His comfort. I loved being able to pray for her about it, or when my Mama called and said they prayed for her at their Wednesday morning prayer meeting at church! Being able to point her to the true Prince of Peace is worth the ache, even when it is hard.

Steve is so sweet and explained things to her so well. After he told the girls (Sydney didn't seem to care at all, and Jordyn was clueless except for the fact that her Sissy was upset which she did care about) he took them to Home Depot for a craft while I took Junior back. Jordyn has asked for him everyday since then, but Reagan is doing fine! We won't be housing any more indoor animals for a long, long, long time, though!